Who’s the Hacksaw Jim Duggan of MLB?
Adam Eaton. He can hit a baseball. Good with the lumber. I bet he could rake with his eyes shut like Dee Brown, or with a surgically repaired knee, which is exactly the deal in DC. Eaton missed nearly all of 2017 when he slipped on first base running out a ball. Coming up the line doing your Usain Bolt impression doesn’t bode well when first base is as hard as a chicken fried steak pushing hour 5 under the heat lamp at Golden Corral. Well, 2017 may be a Ben Affleck Batman, but 2018, well, that’s Christian Bale all the way. Adam loves the first inning; not a jitter in the world. He has played in 6 games this year. He has scored in the first inning in 5 of those games. His 1st inning numbers: .800 AVG, 3 singles, 1 double, 5 runs, 1 walk, .833 OPS and zero strikeouts. Also, a hard-hit rate of 80%. Second game of the year: 5 for 5, 4 runs, 3 ribbies and 2 two-baggers. Remember that one time he shaved his beard? Ha! Looks like that whole thing stuck.
Shohei Ohtani. Remember that one time we said that Shohei should start the league in the minors? We’re dumbos. His line with the lumber, ladies and gents: .389/.421/.889. Scholars, that’s a 1.310 OPS. 3 homers, 7 ribbies. He’s hit a Bleacher Reacher in three straight games! He sends ‘em far, too. This one went 449 feet. Want to know what’s even crazier: he makes the ball disappear on both sides of the ball. Click here to see David Copperfield in an Angels uniform. His first career start in the MLB featured one hiccup against Matt Chapman, who can hit ‘em a country mile like Uncle Rico can throw a football. Matt took Shohei deep for one that counted for 3 on the board. It was an 82-mph slider that saw too much plate time. All’s good, though. Shohei has a 99-mph fastball and 90 mph splitter that ruins lives. All of this helped him retire 14 of the last 15 guys he faced, allowing only 3 hits through 6 frames and getting the W. His next start is Sunday, April 8th against the A’s again.
Colin Moran, the key piece in the Gerrit Cole deal, is lumberjacking his way into Pirates’ fans hearts. Hooo! How nice of him after the Bucs owner sent the farm out to pasture. When the trade went down, the talk was that Moran was once a top prospect but hadn’t quite turned the corner. The thought being he probably wouldn’t and that this trade was bad. Hey now. The small sample so far for 2018: .320/.370/.520 with 1 home run, 8 ribbies, and only 2 strikeouts in 25 at-bats. You might not see this guy on Sportscenter, but we’re sure tickled pink. For a franchise that didn’t make a postseason for 20 straight seasons, only to have their success taken away prematurely by data that said age 31 was the new 65, and an owner who didn’t make one big move in any of those years they made the NL Wild Card, Colin Moran is a much needed surprise for what looked like a lose-lose deal for the Bucs. Swing away, Colin! Pittsburg needs you.
Also, Tim Tebow hit a home run on the first pitch he saw in Double-A. The New York Metropolitans are 6-1 and in 1st place. They are handling the Nationals with ease (2-0 so far), and they’ve had zero crazy Final Destination injuries! Also, Phillies fans are already booing Gabe Kapler.
These are your daily field notes when you can’t listen to the podcast. Well, we’re trying to make it a daily thing ya know. We ain’t Joe DiMaggio! Anyway, thanks for reading. Hopefully this burned some time at work and you’ll be smart for your friends.